Religion: My Thoughts on Spiritual Belief Systems #AtoZChallenge

Welcome to a possibly even later day 18 post in the #AtoZChallenge. I was visiting my sister-in-law with my husband earlier, so didn’t have time to post this one earlier today. Today’s letter is a hard one too, in that I didn’t have a topic set for it prior to today. This post may be controversial, as I am going to share my thoughts on religious belief systems.

I was raised atheist. My mother grew up in a small, sectarian Christian church, so she despises Christianity in particular. My father did tell me about religions when I was young. However, when I went to a Christian school for the blind, because it was the best school for the blind, the teachers refused to respect the fact that we’re non-religious. This got both of my parents to hate religion even more.

I started developing an interest in spirituality at around age 15. At first, it was just New Age’ish stuff and I didn’t look into it deeply.

At around age 18, I started being interested in Christianity. I didn’t go to church, as I didn’t feel ready to do that. However, I did start to read Christian devotionals and Bible verses and stuff.

When I was around 26, I started going to church regularly, only to stop going again by age 30. I still feel Christianity has a lot to offer in the way of spiritual guidance, but like I’ve said before, I don’t like the politics associated with it.

My husband got confirmed into the Protestant Church of the Netherlands in 2010. I attended the service and felt really off, because one of the hymns played made me feel like those who don’t believe, will burn in hell. This thought has always sat uneasy with me. It did with my husband too, which is why he rejected Christianity ultimately.

I currently use both Christianity and general spirituality as inspiration. In other words, I subscribe to what in the Netherlands is called “something-ism”. This means that people believe in a higher power but don’t subscribe to any particular religious belief system.

More of Jesus

Today, I am joining in with Five Minute Friday (FMF), for which the word today is “More”. I regularly read the posts from other bloggers there, but rarely join in, as I”m not a practising Christian. I do believe in God, but am generally a lot more progressive than most Christians and do not like the practical requirements and political implications of organized religion. This feels odd to me sometimes. I crave spiritual guidance.

I found out through Five Minute Friday today about Betsy Cruz’s Book More of God and the title struck a chord.

I want more of God. I want more of a spiritual life. I feel I should be engaging in meditation and prayer more, but I don’t.

I also feel I want to connect to other believers more, but feel generally left out because I’m too progressive. I was kicked out of an apparently conservative Christian blogging community when I mentioned (without condoning it) the possibility of connecting to a higher power other than God in a post on my old blog. I felt sad about that, so I got angry with the Christian blogosphere and by extension with christianity as a whole. I wanted no more Jesus. But yet I do.

Jesus didn’t kick me out of that community. He loves me (and I’m sorry if this gets me kicked out of FMF too) even if I don’t follow the rules of conservative Christianity. He can and does help me find inspiration in life. I want more of Him.