Today is Blogging Against Disablism Day, an annual event to blog against disability discrimination. Last year on BADD, I blogged at my other blog about the interaction of disability and multiplicity. Four days after posting that blog entry, I got an E-mail from my boyfriend asking whether it’s called dissociation what I experience. Three weeks later, I came out to my psychologist about my parts. Yet another half year later, I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID).
My life with DID, or rahter, with the diagnosis of it, has so far been rather challenging. There is a lot of stigma associated with DID, but most of the ableism comes from within the DID community. A subgroup of dissociators seems to have a particular mistrust of other DID’ers, always seeing fakers everywhere.
I just got out of a debate that wasn’t necessarily about me, but that felt like it was. It took place on one of the two Dutch DID forums I participate on. “For all fakers” was the topic title. People were debating what should happen to those who fake DID. As soon as I jumped in, I was asked: “Are you a professional? You know so much.” Now I am neither a professional faker, nor a DID professional, but apparently, one of my autistic traits – the ability to get totally emerged into one topic, in this case psychiatric disorders -, got at me again.
At another time, I was told I was not to be taken seriously because I used lots of jargon in describing my experiences. This person apologized when she learned it was again an autistic trait causing me to talk in all jargon – at least, some fellow autistics recognized this habit -, but that shouldn’t be the point.
Lastly, I was told on this very blog that I fake, simply because I refuse to disclose deeply personal details of my trauma. I wrote about this on April 4 and received a lot of support from people who agreed I had no obligation to disclose these personal details – plus one comment from the faker-obsessed friend-of-a-dissociator that I was wrong and indeed fake. This comment is extremely triggering.
I am not the only one being told I’m fake. In the topic on fakers on the Dutch forum, numerous incidents surfaced about people that may or may not have been part of the forum. “All fakers should go to prison,” some people said, for the crime of keeping a DID therapist busy while the real DID’ers are on the waiting list. I added that real fakers, insofar as they exist, need therapy as much as DID’ers do, just not with a DID specialist but with one specialized in factitious disorder, which is, incidentally, a real mental illness.
Why are dissociators, or at least a subgroup of them, so obsessed with seeing fakers everywhere? I suspect that it is because DID is a controversial disorder, that some people don’t believe exists because of a few scandals with people who were led to believe in repressed memories of horrid abuse. I can understand this mistrust to some extent, but it is disablist nonetheless.
I for one do not believe, as some DID’ers do, that DID’ers have a special ability to detect fakers. Therefore, faker-seekers are often mislabeling genuine people as fakers. This wouldn’t have been so ableist if people just suggested that they were misdiagnosed. Diagnosing over the Internet by laypersons is sadly accepted, after all. But what they suggest, is that people are deliberately, if unconsciously, keeping up a fake image. What’s more, they are saying that people should go to jail to get their therapy, when having a factitious disorder, even if correctly “diagnosed” by laypersons, is not a crime.
Furthermore, disrespecting or even denying another person’s reality is actually very offensive. I do not do it, and I’m not acepting that others do it on this blog or my other blog. It is denying someone’s right to be themself as a person. Doing this over the Internet may be common, but is not acceptable in my opinion.
Excellent post. I remember reading and commenting of your 4 April post, but forgot to subscribe to the comments, so I’ve just read the offensive comment. Not only are the allegations made therein outrageous, they are (as Kate1975 pointed out) factually incorrect. If (s)he is so keen to be nasty to people, then (s)he should at least cite independent, verifiable sources for his/her points.
I don’t know what else to say really, except that I agree with all that you’ve said here. Every word.
Wow! I am healing from DID myself, and haven’t experirnced this over my years of therapy. I personally find it appalling that a “support forum” has a section about “fakers”. Many people who actually have DID go through a period doubting the disorder and thinking they must be making it all up, or they’re crazy, etc. How hurtful to have others treat you as if that were a reality! Also, this “faker-phobia” hurts those who do it because (a) it cheats them out of potenrially rewarding friendships/relationships, and (b) detracts from their own therapy. Where their attention should be on internal stabilization, healing the trauma, and integration—their focus is on characteristics of others that most likely are not a reality. Individuals with DID are as unique as anyone. There is much variety on the level of functioning each one experiences. Just because I am not like you and you are not like me, doesn’t mean one of us is a fake.
Like you I have studied mental health a lot, namely DID, trauma, etc in an effort to understand and help myself. My knowledge does not make me fake. And let’s just put this out there—-WHY would someone want to fake that?? Of all the disorders in the DSM to choose from, why DID? How hard it would be to fake that with any kind of realness to it over an extended period of time.
@Lothlorien: I can relate to constantly doubting my DID and feeling I’ve made stuff up. Many supportive DID people have said it’s probably part of DID.
Like you, I cannot understand why someone would want to fake DID? For attention, something like depression is much easier to fake. But people on the board said it’s easy to fake DID thanks to all the information out there on the Internet on what DID’ers ar elike. Well, that sort of info is out on every mental and physical illness, so I don’t understand why DID specifically should be a fake-prone disorder.
It’s like many areas inside “disability” where sometimes boundaries are over enforced. It’s a bit mystifying. Isn’t there enough pain here for everyone? Why does putting someone elses pain down help the person who does it? It’s weird, and painful, and unnecessary, hey.
Great post, thanks! I’m here from BADD this year. *waves*
I hope this doesn’t come off too jerky, but in a way this is common to all sorts of disabilities.
I weigh 400 lbs. If I had a dime for every jerk who informed me that I would be Magically Healed! if I just lost weight I could probably buy a nice house. “You’re not disabled, you’re just fat (‘and lazy’ is sometimes said out loud, sometimes just implied).”
My point, besides “I hate when this happens”, is to agree that making assumptions on people based on your own beliefs is simple prejudice.
Yes, DID is horribly controversial. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the horrific cases in the ’80s where a small number of psychiatrists were getting fame and fortune by creating patients with DID. But claiming that everyone with DID is faking because of those charlatans is like claiming every Christian is a jerk because of those whackos who stage offensive protests at military funerals. It doesn’t work that way.
There ARE people who fake all sorts of diseases. Some have Munchausen’s, which is in itself a mental illness. Some do it as some kind of scam. I don’t completely understand it.
But that doesn’t mean your life is any less real. I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with that stuff, and I hope more awareness starts to make things better.
Huge issue really. A lot of people out there DO fake mental illness etc. I think though, that if someone is going to such lengths to get attention/sympathy/secondary gains etc then really there IS a definate problem anyway. They certainly do have issues, whetehr they are in the form in which they portray or not is a whole other kettle of fish.
Dont let it get you down honey, you are doing a fantastic thing sharing your experiences, and the people out there who are obsessing about calling others ‘fakers’ are as pathetic as those faking.
‘fake’ is a stupid word.
You are a fantastic person, trying to have a voice, and spread awareness and work through who you are and what you struggle with.
Stick two fingers up and them all, and keep doing what your doing.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have heard the accusation of faker and it seems to be leveled by people who are not professionals. As I often state DID is a psychological disorder and as such can only be diagnosed by a professional who is trained in trauma therapy. And I agree with you, no multiples are not inherently more able to recognize fakers. How incredibly naive that is. Fakers have incredible mental health issues, though not the same ones that we multiples deal with.
I have also heard the existence of fakers being reasons that others will not be supportive of DIDs. Which is patently outrageous and ridiculous. There are bound to be those who are multiple in survivor message boards and mental health boards. Why are we told to hide ourselves and giving us the message that we need to be ashamed of who we are?
If I have given my love and concern to a faker, I have not been aware of that. I would rather give what I can to others, rather than to demand any type of proof or symptoms or reciprocity. Reciprocity is important for a friendship to move on, but I don’t have to look at them and figure out if I believe them before I care about someone.
No one in their right mind would suggest that someone who has been diagnosed with a mental disorder should be accused and not be treated because there are a few who pretend or so-called malinger. But again it seems as though dissociative disorders are the target of this type of abuse.
I saw a talk show some years ago with Chris Costner Sizemore as a guest. She is the woman the book The Three Faces of Eve was written about by her two psychiatrists. It was made into a movie and she later wrote two more books about her life, integration and afterward. During those years she paid for therapy and had her own business. A member of the audience got up and said I think you aren’t real. I think you are a malingerer. She explained, I did not say I was DID, two psychiatrists diagnosed me and treated me for years. They united three personalities and declared me whole. Years later I discovered more parts and started working again in therapy. I worked my own sewing business. I paid my bills. No one took care of me. The charge of malingering means that I did nothing but got attention. That is not the case at all.
A totally incredible charge against someone who dealt with DID for decades. Every wingnut seems to think they are a therapist/psychiatrist. They aren’t.
I’m sorry you went through this accusation and that it was so triggering. That used to trigger me bad, years ago. Now it just makes me irate.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
I don’t know why anyone would even invest so much energy in something that doesn’t remotely affect them (trying to determine if someone online who claims to have DID is telling the truth).
Personally, I think if a DID specialist isn’t good enough to spot someone who is faking, they’re not much of a specialist anyway
Skittles